Top 5 Funniest Tweets – Russian Grand Prix 2017

Apart from the first and last couple of laps, that really wasn’t a grand prix worth writing home about.

Brilliant drive from Valteri Bottas gave him his first ever F1 win and has certainly set the scene for a tense championship battle over the rest of the season.

Despite the lack of hard action on the track, you didn’t disappoint on the tweet front. There were some very funny ones today. So without further ado, let’s get going with the Funniest Tweet Awards for the Russian Grand Prix 2017

First a couple of honorary mentions:

Honorary mention 1 to @f1_reactions for this tweet after Alonso didn’t even start the race, stopping on the formation lap with an ERS problem…

hon 1

Honorary mention 2 to @coledinho1984 for this tweet following a TV shot of Toto Wolff. To be fair, I could have done an entire post of memes on this picture alone – at least 3 filtered through my timeline:

hon2

But the Top 5 Funniest Tweets for the Russian Grand Prix 2017 are:

In 5th place is @F1onNBCSports for this tweets during the race:

#5

4th place goes to @GvanderGarde for this tweet after THAT Palmer and Grosjean crash at the start of the race:

#4

In 3rd place is this tweet, via Instagram, from @karunchandhok after Alonso’s early exit from the race:

#3

This week’s runner-up is @TarasDemerson for this very tweet and accompanying gif where the chair is constantly being moved away from Putin (I wish there was a way of copying tweets and gifs so that the gifs still moved)

#2

But this week’s worthy winner, in 1st place is @timwagner66 for this truly BRILLIANT tweet and THAT picture of Toto.

#1

There were so many funny tweets, it really is getting more difficult to find the top 5, but this was my top 5 for this week.

The next round will be Spain, in a fortnight. So, if you want to be in with a shot of winning a round – nothing but kudos and bragging rights until the next race, follow me on Twitter, @Pitlane_Girl, and I’ll follow back.

In the meantime jeep flexing those funny muscles.

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Top 10 Funniest Tweets – Bahrain Grand Prix 2017

Yes, you read correctly, this week it’s the top 10 funniest tweets.

Why?

Because I had so many to choose from, you guys were on fire this afternoon during the most exciting race so far. It was super difficult.

I managed to get the tweets down to 10, but couldn’t quite manage (or have the heart) to select just five, all these 10 were worthy entries.

So, without further ado, here are the Funniest Tweet Awards for the Bahrain Grand Prix 2017:

First, an honorary mention – this tweet popped up in my timeline towards the end of the race. So a big mention to Stoffel Vandoorne for this tweet, proving that racing drivers sometimes need a sense of humour:

stoff

But, back to the main event and the top 10. In tenth place is @LastLapPodcast for this tweet following Lance Stroll’s exit from the race courtesy of one Carlos Sainz Jr.

stroll crash

In 9th place is the first of two entries by @stargateoracle – during an afternoon McLaren would most likely want to forget, what with Vandoorne not actually starting and Alonso retiring two laps from the end, the meme’s about Honda engines were flying thick and fast, especially when we managed to pick up Alonso FM:

honda power

8th place goes to @bouncebckbltrx for this great tweet about Kimi reporting his car issues to the pit wall:

hon2

7th was this tweet is @coledinho1984 for this tweet about how Jolyon Palmer might explain Alonso (and his Honda engine) passing him not once, but twice!!!

hon1

Just outside the top 5 in 6th place is everyone’s favourite F1 Team twitter account @RenaultSportF1 celebrating the return of Kimi FM – much as we love Alonso FM, nothing quite beats Kimi FM:

#5

So, here are the top 5. In 5th place is @stargateoracle’s 2nd entry for this tweet following Max Verstappen’s retirement due to loss of brakes:

#4

4th place is last year’s champion @BadgerGP for this tweet at the beginning of the race when Vettel was piling the pressure on Valteri Bottas:

#3

In 3rd place @MisterPigz for this tweet when Alonso’s car was actually racing and overtaking cars. Camel racing at its best:

#2

This week’s runner-up is @TarasDemerson for this tweet, which again was towards the beginning(ish) of the race when Bottas was feeling the heat from Vettel:

#1b

And ladies and gentlemen, this week’s worthy winner is @mediumpete for this hilarious tweet about the state of the Honda engine. This made me laugh out loud:

#1a

So, the tweets are getting funnier and like this season’s title fight is going to be a very close fought competition.

If you want to be in with a chance of winning kudos and bragging rights until the next grand prix, make sure I’m following you on Twitter. Best way to do that is follow me and I’ll follow back – @Pitlane_Girl

And so we move on to Russia in two weeks. Anybody got any good ideas for a blog post between now and then?? Russian theme or not ;

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Top 5 Funniest Tweets – Chinese Grand Prix 2017

WOW! That was such an exciting race, well worth the early alarm call to watch it.

And as ever I was not disappointed with the huge amount of hilarious tweets in my Twitter timeline. You guys never fail to amuse.

This was probably the hardest and closest decision I had to make. I struggled to whittle the field down to less than 10. It was very difficult to choose the Top 5, which is why this week I also have two honorary mentions.

The first is last year’s Funniest Tweet Award champion @BadgerGP for this brilliant gif relating to the mid-field fight between Kvyat, Perez and Massa

mention 2

The second is @Racerx34 for this tweet shortly after Giovanazzi crashed out of the race:

mention 1

But without further ado, here are my, and my co-judge’s, top 5.

In 5th place is a team tweet from Mercedes – they tweeted about wheel-to-wheel action between Vettel and Verstappen for 2nd place, and then followed it up saying they were tweeting from the future as the action hadn’t actually happened … yet – it did a few laps further on 😉

#5

In 4th place is the very funny Giedo van der Garde for this tweet about the amazing progress ax Verstappen made on the first lap:

#4

3rd place goes to Grand Prix Diary:

#3

This week’s runner-up is Simon Brooks for this hilarious tweet about the lunge Vettel took at Turn 6 to overtake. And they said overtaking would be difficult this year – Messrs Vettel and Verstappen are making it look easy!!

#2

Drum roll please, but this week’s winner is Stargate Oracle for this hilarious tweet about the Honda engines after Alonso retired (and there were so many tweets about Alonso pushing like an animal all weekend). In fact I loved the tweet so much, I couldn’t just do with the screen shot, so I tracked down the gif that goes with it 😉

#1

star trek

So, there you have it, an eventful and definitely a funny tweet-filled race. Onwards to Bahrain next week.

To be in with a chance of getting in to the top five funny tweets and winning, nothing but kudos, all you need to do is follow me on Twitter (@Pitlane_Girl) and I will follow back.

Til next week.

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Top 5 Funniest Tweets – Australian Grand Prix 2017

After a long, long winter, it’s back race fans.

No, I don’t mean the racing, I mean the Funniest Tweet Awards 2017.

And for the first race of the season you guys didn’t disappoint.

My Twitter feed was a constant stream of tweets that made me giggle uncontrollably, and some even made me laugh out loud. Those were the ones that made it into the Top 5.

So without further ado, let’s welcome onto the podium the first round winners of the Funniest Tweet Awards 2017:

In 5th place is @racinghumour for this tweet early on in the race:

#5

In 4th place is @RickyArdoF1 for this tweet following “The Stoff’s” early retirement from the race – summing up McLaren fans’ feelings for the start to this season:

#4

In 3rd place is @MrsPinkStig for this reply to @RenaultSport following Jolyon Palmer’s retirement:

#3

I couldn’t quite decide on a winner this week. So my fellow judge (aka small boy) and I decided, seeing as we could, to have joint winners for the first Funniest Tweet Awards of 2017.

So, I give you this week’s winners. In joint 1st place:

@TarasDemerson for this tweet following Romain Grosjean’s retirement due to a smoking engine:

#1

AND

Possibly the funniest F1 team twitterers @RenaultSportF1 for this tweet:

#1a

So, the next round will be China in two weeks time.

Remember all you have to do to enter, and be in with the chance of winning kudos and bragging rights until the next race, is follow me on Twitter (@Pitlane_Girl) and I will follow back and get working on your funny tweets.

Happy tweeting.

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The Girlie Guide to the 2017 F1 Regulation Changes

With 56 days (at the time of writing) until the 1st race of the 2017 F1 season, I thought I should really try to get to grips with the big changes that are being implemented this year.

So, after bribing @ScarbsTech with more coffee he gently manoeuvred me through a barrage of information to try and understand what the changes are and, more importantly, what they mean.

[Caveat – if I get anything wrong, it’s because I clearly haven’t understood properly (or probably and more accurately couldn’t read my writing), so the fault lies with me, no one else and feel free to correct me so I can understand it better – but be gentle!]

When the rules last changed in 2014 they introduced us to the new smaller, 1.6 litre, V6 hybrid engines, smaller rear wings and front wings that were much lower, just a mere 135mm above the floor. However, after the first couple of races of the season it transpired that the GP2 cars were nearly as quick as the F1 cars and for the fans F1 just didn’t sound right and was painfully slow.

The reaction? Rather than slow down GP2 the powers that be decided to speed up F1.

So they went through a process to work out how to reduce lap times by about 5 seconds. That was the primary aim of the working group, well that and to make the car look more exciting – check out these pictures by Andries van Overbeeke.

All the teams put forward ideas, but the biggest and boldest came from Red Bull who suggested making the diffuser bigger and bringing the lower rear wing back in. Initially no one liked this idea, but after various meetings and deliberation it came out victorious.

The theory, from what I understand, is that the floor of the diffuser does most of the work and takes the pressure off the front and rear wings.

So what are the big changes for 2017?

The biggest change is the tyres. They are 24% larger! Which harks back to pre-1996 F1 era. The increase in tyre size adds 60mm to each side of the car and the car has also been widened to 2m.

Although the tyres have been widened this does not mean that the cars have 24% more grip as the tyres are angled to the track at about 2½˚.

In terms of improving aerodynamics, having the tyres further spaced from the car is good as it means the diffuser which sits under the car can be bigger.  In fact the diffusers this season are 5cm taller and 17cm longer – and we all know that size matters!

The impact of the larger diffuser means there is more downforce under the car. The underside of the car is also 10cm wider which helps keep the suction under the car too.

Now, not being of an engineering background and I only scraped a C in my O’Level Physics (I can change a lightbulb though) Craig did have to explain downforce to me. Downforce is the vertical force that in an aircraft pushes it up and in a racing car pushes it down onto the track and the more downforce you have the more speed you have.

Well, that seems easy enough to understand, but apparently then you have to take into account the drag factor – oo, now that sounds like a great idea for a new TV show!

So, any object being pushed through the air will always leave drag as the air is pushed out of the way.

On an F1 car (or any car I suppose) there are 3 types of drag:

  1. Form drag – caused by the cross-section
  2. Skin drag – caused by the air going along the bodywork
  3. Induced drag – created by the turbulence coming off all the edges of the car, in particular the spinning wheels and rear wing

The vapour trails we see coming off the car in the wet means the car has a reduced drag which reduces the downforce and as a result goes slower in a straight line. Did I get that right? (Please don’t scream at me if I didn’t – just enlighten me)

So, what does this all actually mean in terms of the 2017 rule changes?

The diffuser doesn’t create much drag so they use it to create more downforce which is why the diffuser has been made bigger.

This combined with the change of tyres means the cars will be quicker round the corners but slower in straight line speed. The cars could be up to 25Kmph quicker in the turn, but 10-15Kmph slower in a straight line, which means F1 achieves their overall target of reducing lap times by approximately 3-5 seconds.

This season they will not be breaking any straight line speed records however cornering will be quicker, which means Mexico will be slower but Monaco could be fun.

Currently drivers experience 4-5G in cornering and 5-6G in braking. In 2017 the number of G on corners could increase, whilst the number of G experienced with braking could decrease.

The tyres and diffuser are the big rule changes with regard to performance, the other changes are mainly visual.

The front wings will be creating a V-shape finishing 15cm further forwards than last season and will be slightly wider to accommodate the new tyres.

In 2009 the rear wing was changed to be taller and wider according to the overtaking group. Now this has been overturned and in 2017 we will see a lower and wider (by 5cm) rear wing, which will be angled backwards – this is truly only to make it look ‘cool’ but all the same it may give a very slight performance advantage.

The side-pods of the car will be angled back 75˚ just to look ‘supersonic’ – the car won’t be supersonic, obviously.

Now, apparently, between the front wing and the side-pod is a no-go area that has no bodywork – cue Craig drawing me lots of diagrams using different coloured pens.

This ‘no-go’ area is effectively the area, along the side of the car enclosed by the side of the chassis the front wing and side-pods.

Now this season, the line from the centre of the chassis to the start of the ‘no-go’ area has been increased to 32cm which means that the start of the ‘no-go’ area is further away from the chassis. This gives the teams more room to play with to improve performance, and this small area, the ‘fun play area’, from the centre of the chassis to the start of the ‘no-go’ area is where they can put all the clever stuff. It could well be that upgrades and improvements will be made in this area at most races.

What there isn’t a limit on is how long this ‘fun play area’ can be, which teams know and the longer this ‘fun play area’ is the better the performance advantage. So everyone is asking if there will be any change to the length of the car.

This new area should help air flow and reduce front tyre turbulence hitting the rear wing and diffuser, pushing the air out of the way outside of the wing or by creating a curtain around the inside.

And, by reducing the air flow this creates less drag which means a smaller rear wing, which in turn will give more straight line speed for the same downforce. This is much more efficient.

So, these are the big rules changes that apply to each and every car and assuming there’s only one car running its own there should be no problem. But when you put two cars together, that’s when the theory may not work so well in practice.

The track is 4m wide and let’s face it, they aren’t going to be widened.

So with a wider car this means there is less space to overtake.

The front wing is still complicated and very influential with regard to air flowing to the back of the car. A lower, wider rear wing means more dirty air and mess close to the track as well as the car behind and it will be dispersed over a wider area.

With the following car running in more dirty air this gives it less downforce at the front and as the dirty air moves backwards it will make the rear less efficient, so the car has less downforce and grip making it hard to follow and almost impossible to overtake.

The other problem is that braking zones are shorter as the distance between straight-line speed and cornering speed has decreased. So cars can’t follow, overtake or out-brake which probably means in terms of watching, more processions instead of more wheel-to-wheel action.

The plus side to the changes is that more teams will have a chance, especially in that mid-table zone.

Each driver has 4 engines for the year, but as the token system has been removed everyone can, effectively, start from scratch and redesign the whole engine if they so choose. This means that in terms of engine performance it should be a closer battle seeing as you can make any, and as many changes as you like.

I did ask Craig his predictions for the season and here they are:

  • World Champion: Lewis Hamilton
  • Constructor Champion: Red Bull

Craig reckons that the surprise of the year will be Torro Rosso who will be very competitive but also keep an eye on McLaren and Renault!

Here’s to Australia and a fab season of racing.

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Mercedes Race Driver Vacancy – Application

driver-advertDear Sirs

I am writing to you with reference to your unexpected Race Driver vacancy which I saw in Autosport.

I am an extremely responsible individual and would be available to operate your F1 car at such worldwide track events as you deem necessary.

Your livery is a very good colour match for me, being a warm Autumn, and I would definitely look good in the overalls. However, I might need to add a few sparkles to the helmet to give it that added girlie touch.

I am a self-motivated individual. I get myself up most mornings, with the exception of those when I am awoken by a small child, and it only takes me one cup of coffee before I’m ready to face the day. Between you and me, I may need a few more before I hit the gym.

Teamwork is an important part of life and I’m very good at working in a team, just so long as they do what I want in the end 😉

I have a proven track record in driving.

Indeed my steering skills are second to none. Have you seen the way the mums’ drive on the school run? Braking with no warning, parking every which way – it is a permamnent obstacle course – which makes for more fun … and yet more coffee afterwards, to calm the nerves.

My accelerating skills are right up there. I just put my foot down and go. My Golf diesel takes a few minutes to get up to full throttle but when it hits maximum velocity watch out.

My braking is also extremely proficient, when I spy a mobile speed camera in the hedge, I apply the emergency brakes and can slow right down within milliseconds.

I don’t have an FIA Super Licence, but my current driving licence has no endorsements. I do hope that will suffice, for the time being.

As a strong communicator when I am driving I would be able to;

  • Give feedback on the car, “this drives like a pile of poop”,
  • Identify Strengths & Weaknesses in competitors, “Oo, that car goes like the proverbial off a shovel,” or “get out of the beep beep way. Blue Flags!”
  • Show patience in the face of media attention – just give me coffee and I’ll be fine.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards

Girl in the Pitlane

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Top 5 Funniest Tweets – Abu Dhabi Grand Prix 2016

So, the 2016 F1 season drew to a close with a tense, nail-biting thriller in the desert.

Nico Rosberg has been (deservedly) crowned Champion, Jenson Button and Felipe Massa have hung up their racing gloves, a few new, young drivers are waiting anxiously in the wings to take up their seats next season and at the moment a few seats still undecided. (Wonder if there’s time for me to put a claim in for one of them?)

On top of all of this, you did not disappoint in the funny tweets – I had so many to choose from, it was a very difficult decision.

Last time out in Brazil, Massa retired and the Twitterverse went into meltdown at the sight of him walking back to the pitlane. This time, on lap 13, in his last ever race Jenson Button suffered the same fate, a retirement. So here is my favourite tweet about it:

jenson-pikachu

But whilst Twitter were recovering there were more fun and games going on, on track. Was Lewis driving a milk float? Could Verstappen go the distance having only done 1 pitstop? Could the jiggly leg syndrome actually be contagious, since it spread from Red Bull to Mercedes and then increasingly along the Mercedes pit wall?

And, of course, there were all those hilarious tweets.  So, without further ado, here are the Funniest Tweet Awards for the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.

In 5th Place is this tweet by @f1_reactions of Jenson Button on the pitlane receiving a ‘mummy cuddle’ – sweet!

5

In 4th Place is this conversation between @mediumpete83 and @TarasDemerson – apparently Paris Hilton was spotted in the Ferrari garage and the rumours were flying, literally, that she had been the unknown strategist all season, responsible for making all those diabolical strategy calls…

4

In 3rd Place is this tweet from one of the funniest F1 team’s twitterers @RenaultSportF1 after Lewis came on the radio and asked what position he was in? Ask a stupid question….

3

This week’s runner-up is this tweet from @F1taxi – to be honest this was my number 1 tweet until it got pipped at the post. The tweet speaks for itself really 😉

2

But, (drum roll please). the final winner of the Funniest Tweet Awards of 2016 is @charlie_whiting for this tweet of the podium room after the race….

1

Thank you for making the races even more exciting with all your tweets.

The Awards will be back next season, starting in Australia.

 

As always, if you want to take part in the Funniest Tweet Awards, make sure you’re following me on Twitter (@pitlane_girl) and I’ll follow you right back.

In the meantime, I’m going to see if I can work out how to do polls on Twitter for you to vote for your all-time favourite of the ones I’ve done this season.

This is not the last blog until March, far from it. I’m working on things to do, car-related to make the next few dull and dreary months a bit more cheerful.

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